Judas Is Not a Term of Endearment
I really enjoy those religious thriller movies. The ones in which a person, usually a despicable sort who gives joints to kindergartners and steals brooches from blind senior citizens, receives divine...
View ArticleThe Honeymooners
A few friends have gotten married recently and have had very humorous tales from their honeymoon. It’s had me thinking about honeymoons in general, particularly how unpredictably disappointing ours...
View ArticleWhy I’ll Never Be A Chosen Person
I’ve been spending a lot of time watching Telemundo. My purpose is educational since I’m trying to reclaim my Spanish language skills which have disappeared much like the tostada from the Taco Bell...
View ArticleFor Love or Linguistics
My husband, G, has completed 23 years of schooling. Once he finished an undergraduate degree, he went on to Law School. Then a Masters in Law. Then a Masters in Business. It’s all really quite...
View ArticleEaster: At Least Something Was Resurrected
I once ate 13 sticky buns at an Easter brunch. I was young and possessed the kind of metabolism that didn’t flinch at a deluge of Karo syrup. I can’t explain why I ate that many; I just recall that...
View ArticleAnd My Middle Name Means Honeymoon
In college I read an article in which a poll of newlywed women revealed that they did not have as much sex as they’d anticipated on their honeymoon. Instead late-night activities included sleeping,...
View ArticleThe Anything But Royal Couple
London dislikes me. I do mean London, the city in England, not some toddler with a bizarre New Age name. It harbors some kind of resentment that I can’t pinpoint. Perhaps I’m being paranoid, but I...
View ArticleTo Top It All Off I Got Pre-Cancer
I hate skin and everything about it. I dislike saying the word, which is absolutely impossible to avoid using, unlike other words I hate. One can substitute a more palatable word for nougat or panties,...
View ArticleThis Truck Will Go On And On. Like Celine Dion’s Heart.
Each week a neighbor raps my door to tell me that the interior light of my husband’s truck is on. I follow this conscientious resident to the driveway where I wait for him to turn heel before I dash...
View ArticleCo-What?
I once worked with a woman who firmly held to the notion of co-parenting. She and her husband rotated 24 hour caregiving shifts, each transitioning every other day into active duty. Every ride to...
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